The stories we tell

he stories we tell ourselves. 

The stories we tell ourselves are powerful. We tell stories about the people and events around us all of the time.  And these stories are created quickly. We forget that we made these stories up. And we believe them.  We actually call them “the truth”. 

Here is how it happens. Something happens. Anything. 

Examples of anything happening:

• Someone cuts you off in traffic. 
• Your dog doesn’t want to go outside. 
• Dinner is perfect.
• Someone doesn’t send you a birthday card. 
• Someone says they are going to call and then they don’t call. 

Examples of the meaning we attach:

• Someone cuts you off in traffic.
  • What a jerk! Idiot! SFKDing asdfsle!
• Your dog doesn’t want to go outside.
  • Why do things never go smoothly for me?! Come on!
• Dinner is perfect.
  • I love him/her/they. Like this is true love. 
• Someone doesn’t send you a birthday card.
  • How insensitive are they?! Really, you can’t even buy your own mother a birthday card?! Ungrateful _________(kid, grandkid, friend, spouse, aunt, nephew)
• Someone says they are going to call and then they don’t call.
  • I guess they don’t really want to be my friend. I guess they don’t care about me. 

Examples of possible other meanings we could attach:

• Someone cuts you off in traffic.
  • Wow, they didn’t see me. They must have a lot on their minds. 
• Your dog doesn’t want to go outside.
  • Weirdo. Come on, let’s go. 
• Dinner is perfect.
  • Dinner is perfect.
• Someone doesn’t send you a birthday card.
  • They forgot.
  • They have a lot going on
  • They called me instead. 
• Someone says they are going to call and then they don’t call.
  • There must be a lot going on. 
  • Maybe they are struggling with something right now. 

Here’s what happened:

• Someone cuts you off in traffic. 
• Your dog doesn’t want to go outside. 
• Dinner is perfect.
• Someone doesn’t send you a birthday card. 
• Someone says they are going to call and then they don’t call. 

Okay so what’s the point.  The point is you choose the story you tell.  You might as well choose a story that supports your own mental health and wellbeing. Is either story more true than the other?  Not really.  So why not choose the story more supportive of your own wellbeing?  

This holiday season choose a story that supports you in the moment. Choose to give a gift of generosity…the assumption of good intent.

Image by: Etienne Girardet