I spent the day in silence. I remember the first time I attended a silent retreat my husband was confused and wanted further clarification around the idea that I was paying money to sit in silence, on zoom, in our guest room. I nodded, while he smiled, shook his head and went outside to blow the leaves off of the backyard.
It is hard to explain why any human being might want to spend a day with a group of individuals from around the world, not speaking, and spending time sitting, standing, doing some really, really slow walking, and sometimes lying down with your lower legs supported by a chair-that position is called the astronaut pose.
Today was part of the 8-week Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Program I am currently taking, more commonly known as MBSR. The day unfolded from one mindfulness practice to another. At one point we were sent to walk outside and to notice what caught our attention and then to be with that object with awareness. Looking up, noticing a red leaf twirling down, contrasting so vibrantly against the background of the blue sky, feeling the wind on my skin, the sun on my arm…this is always available.
It is amazing to be in a container, so to speak. To not have to worry about time or things to do but to allow oneself to just be present to this moment…and now, this moment. And the thoughts, of course, they come. Our brains do that-brains make thoughts. And the practice is to notice when a thought has hooked you and carried you away to the past or to the future and then acknowledging that you have been swept away and just returning to the breath…over and over again. I find myself saying, “Ah, yes, the past”. Or “Ah, yes, the future”. Or “Ah, yes, you don’t like this practice very much”. Whatever the thought, noticing it and then letting it go and returning to this moment.
It was a beautiful way to spend a Saturday. A beautiful way to retreat to self.
