We all need fences.
It’s weird how there are moments we know we need something…a nap…a moment…a drink of water…peace…alone time…time together…
And yet we don’t tell people what we need. Instead, we act it out. Playing a game of charades, exhausting all involved.
Oddly enough, once frustrated, many of us have no problem telling people why we are irritated or even angry.
Normal enough, except that if this is the only way you communicate your needs you may want to reflect on whether this is the most efficient way to navigate life. Afterall, the emotional hangover has a high price.
Our culture is fascinated with efficiency and productivity inside of doing.
Somehow, we don’t yet view our energy in the same way. We don’t always consider that who we are being can just as easily contribute to our efficiency and productivity or hinder it.
Consider you pay either way.
And sometimes, you get to choose how you pay and this choice is important.
Paying on the front end, telling people about your needs (i.e. your fences/boundaries) saves the theatrics, the unnecessary guessing game, the emotional roller coaster…
Being clear is being kind (I think I read that in the book Radical Candor).
We know what happens when we pay on the back end. We suffer. They suffer. Time and energy are wasted.
A pattern of remaining silent about our individual fences is too high of a price tag for any of us to pay or to charge others to pay.
Be clear about your expectations. Be clear about your needs. Be clear about your fences.
This clarity is a gift to yourself first and then to others.
Image by @clayleconey