It’s interesting to think about what makes canceling on ourselves so easy. These internal commitments we make to ourselves. Leaving on time, working out, eating differently, drinking more water…these small but life-changing agreements. Life-changing because, with consistency, these sorts of commitments improve the quality of our lives; literally, life-enhancing.
And then there are the external commitments, like a work project or a favor requested of us by a friend or even answering “just one more” email; we oftentimes have to learn how to say no, even pull ourselves away. It’s fascinating because, more likely than not, these external commitments are not life-enhancing.
The choices we make without being intentional are genuinely fascinating.
I am sure the science behind it is multifaceted. A little bit of anxiety around disappointing our tribe, perhaps fear of being cast out. Or perhaps more simply, the rewards from external commitments are easier to see. Spending an extra 30 minutes working through email can be satisfying because the end is in sight (maybe). Compared to a parent who doesn’t know they have raised a good kid for like 25 years.
When we feel as if the experience we are having in our lives is not the experience we want, we need to pause and take a moment to look at our habitual choices of late and measure them against the values we hold dear. Only by doing this can we make minor adjustments resulting in a life well-lived.
