Procrastination is causing you to lose focus. You are not alone. Many of us struggle with procrastination.
We face the uncomfortable truth of knowing what we must get done and yet instead of focusing on the very thing that will get us out of the office on time, we lose focus. Suddenly, we find ourselves consumed with the need to compulsively respond to emails in our inbox; convincing ourselves that a cleared-out inbox is key to our ability to focus. Unfortunately, instead, we find time slips by as we answer nonurgent emails while what needs to get done is put in the “I’ll get to it later.”
Procrastination is “delaying something that must be done, often because it is unpleasant or boring.” Procrastination becomes a familiar habit even though the results are far from desirable. The irony is that “later” often comes with time-consuming consequences. We seem to forget the cost of being late for another meeting. We don’t think about the irritation our boss will feel or the loss of respect we will experience from our colleagues or the emotional toll of constantly feeling rushed, unprepared, and apologetic.
What is temporal discounting?
The term for this is “Temporal Discounting”, it is our inability to judge future consequences compared to experiencing the immediate gratification of, for example, replying to “just one more email”. Our brain tricks us. We think because we are seeing immediate results (i.e. one less email or a new post on our feed) we are getting things done. To be fair, many times we are getting things done. We just may not be focusing on the things that must get done. Hence how procrastination is causing you to lose focus.
What if procrastination was less of a character flaw and more of an opportunity to improve our emotional intelligence?
A. A. Simmons
Procrastination has often been thought of as a lack of self-discipline. But what if procrastination was less of a character flaw and more of an opportunity to improve our emotional intelligence?
Think about the felt experience of procrastinating. The feeling of dread as we think about the upcoming deadline or meeting. The frustration of knowing you need to complete a task and are unable to focus enough to do what is required. The anger directed at oneself when realizing this behavior pattern is actually creating problems in life by choice. The inevitable stress as one realizes time is slipping away and the feeling of overwhelm begins to build as our to-do list remains unchanged, or worse, grows.
We may feel discouraged because of the anticipatory disappointment our actions will inevitably cause for those we care about. Of course, some of us feel a temporary burst of freedom and joy from getting away from our responsibilities only to be confronted by our harshest inner critic later in the night. Considering the purpose of procrastination is to avoid something we have labeled as unpleasant, it is no wonder our brain is really good at distracting us. We can get hooked by procrastination in many different ways…
Procrastination is causing you to lose focus
- Creating the perfect environment
- Being in the perfect mood
- Selecting the perfect color or font or PowerPoint template
- Starting a project when we are fatigued because of doing everything else but that most important thing
- Feeling paralyzed, unable to even initiate the task because of not knowing how to start
- Experiencing decision fatigue because we don’t know which task is the most important task to prioritize
- Spending an absurd amount of time writing an email instead of picking up the phone
Asking ourselves questions gives us distance from the emotional drama and brings the brain back online.
A.A. Simmons
Noticing is a skill to be cultivated. Once we notice something is happening, we can do something about what has been noticed. It is the noticing that allows us to accept the reality of our circumstances. Asking ourselves questions gives us distance from the emotional drama and brings the brain back online. We are then better able to evaluate the current situation for what it is rather than what it feels like (i.e. catastrophically boring).
Focus yourself by asking these questions
Here are some questions to consider asking yourself when you notice you are procrastinating:
- What am I doing right now?
- What am I feeling right now?
Getting clear about what you are really doing is the easy part. Putting your finger on what you are feeling may be a little more challenging. Many of us lack the vocabulary to describe our emotions. However, describing how you feel is an important aspect to getting your focus back and navigating past procrastination. Studies show the very act of attaching language to our feelings helps us to deescalate and gain perspective. It is the labeling of our feelings that allows us to step out of the emotional flooding of our experience and become the observer of what actually is true about our situation. This alone can move us into action.
Now, if you should find yourself doing something of great importance and yet that task is not in alignment with the priority at hand-it’s okay. Be gentle with yourself. You are only trying to be productive.
Congratulate yourself for noticing!
Instead of justifying why you are not doing something, simply acknowledge you have lost focus. Congratulate yourself for noticing. Write down what it is you were thinking of/working on so you don’t have any anxiety around the possibility of forgetting. And then without judgement, return your focus to the task at hand. Do this with a spirit of curiosity and kindness. A little humor goes a long way too. Example: “Ah interesting, look at me trying to buy a gift for my niece right in the middle of me working on my project. Noted.” This is something of a practice. Which is understandable considering we have all been practicing procrastination on some level.
Emotional intelligence is our ability to manage our feelings. When we are intentional in the language we use to describe our tasks, our experience shifts. If we know that procrastination shows up when we define tasks as “boring or unpleasant”, we make an emotionally intelligent choice to describe the challenges we face differently knowing that this alone can give us back our focus. If you find yourself resisting changing the language you use to describe your situation, then it might be helpful to ask yourself a few more questions. Borrowing from the work of Byron Katie, ask yourself:
- Is it true?
- Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
- Who are you when you believe that thought?
- Who might you be without that thought?
It is rare to get through these questions answering honestly and not be able to experience a different perspective. We respond to the language we use. Our choice of words, and how we decide which word to use is truly a sign of emotional intelligence. This wisdom, knowing that our words, that language creates the world in which we live. We might not have caused the situations we find ourselves in and yet we are responsible for the words we use in response.
6 Strategies to regain focus
Tools to consider:
- Need to prioritize? Try using the Eisenhower Matrix.
- Starting to feel overwhelm? Take 15 minutes and do a mindfulness practice.
- Worried your mind will wander? Try using a timer. This way when the timer goes off you can ask yourself the above questions:
- What am I doing right now?
- What am I feeling right now?
- Noticing strong feelings? Practice labeling your feelings using a feelings wheel.
- Feeling lonely and isolated? Try Body doubling
- Never quite ready to start. Notice the top three things that cause you to have to “restart” because you don’t have what you need near you. Try creating a “I’m ready” checklist
- Am I hungry?
- Do I feel hot? Do I feel cold? Comfortable?
- Did I take necessary medications?
- Do I have water?
- Bathroom?
Emotional intelligence is about better understanding ourselves. We do this by noticing the thoughts we have. We observe the feelings that surface because of those thoughts. We pay attention to the story we tell ourselves about what is happening. We choose our words wisely, learning to respond with wisdom to each challenge we face. And when we drift, we just try again.
